Discipleship is Relationship

“Remember – discipleship is relationship. Church planting is relationship. You will never have church planting problems, only people problems.” – Pastor Dennis Sy

http://www.dennissy.com/the-more-personal/

I couldn’t agree more with Pastor Dennis when he wrote how ineffective giving out flyers, sticking posters and pulpit announcements when inviting people to church. Don’t get me wrong, they might actually catch people’s attention but what is the probability that they will respond to it?

I first discovered the effectiveness of establishing a relationship as a marketing strategy when I was a volunteer at the UNICEF. I became a volunteer for one of UNICEF’s education project immediately after graduating from college. My work basically was to stand in the middle of a mall and ask the people passing by to either make an onsite donation or make a monthly pledge to give certain amounts – most challenging work ever! I remember, my first time to do it was disappointing. I kept running after one person to another and sometimes even practically shouting: “sir/ma’am, would you like to make a donation?!” I got practically nothing! The second day, after half a day of running and shouting, I gave up! I left my post and started checking out shoes in one of the nearest shoe store. At the shoe store, I ended up in a conversation with one of the ladies who were buying a pair of shoes. To cut the story short, after a brief conversation on wedges vs. heels, I asked her if she would like to make a pledge for UNICEF and she did. From then on, I realized that people would actually stick around and listen to what I had say after having small talks with them that were not related to asking money.

When it comes to discipleship, I learned the importance of establishing a relationship first before anything else with my very own first small group. It was my first time to lead a small group and I was excited about it! My former small group or victory group was composed of 4 young ladies, ages 14-17, and three of them were from the community. Val and I chose the topic “How to Know God’s Will” as we think it’s one of the easiest topics to explain to our victory group (we initially started with a mixed group with Val leading but it didn’t work out).

Anyway, I planned it so well! I prepared a week in advance – I made a topic outline of the second chapter and flow of discussion (yes, they were nicely type written and printed in an A4 paper and in colored). I even practiced the night before our first meeting. On the day it self, I started our victory group with a quick hi, hello, welcome, etc as stated in my color coded script. Then I started with our main event – chapter one of “How to know God’s Will”. After a couple of minutes of talking, I noticed that two of the girls weren’t listening at all (and looked really bored) while the other two were looking at me with a “what the heck is she talking about” expression on their faces. I asked them if they have any questions and they all answered “none”. I started talking again and realized that it’s not working. So I put my booklet and script down, called their names and asked them: “who’s your favorite singer?” They all suddenly paid attention to me and said their favorite artists, songs, actors, etc. Then we talked about school: how annoying some of their classmates were and how difficult their teachers were. The college student started opening up about not being happy with her current course. They asked a lot of questions about me – how old I was, how long have I been a Christian, how am I related to Val, where do I live, what’s my work, where do I work, etc. We didn’t finish chapter 2 (in fact, we didn’t even reach the half of it) but we’ve established a relationship with one another. The following week, we finished our discussion on Chapter 2 (and yes, they were attentive from then on).

In addition to establishing a relationship with the persons when inviting them to church, I say it is also critical to maintain or even enhance that relationship in order for them to stick. Do not just be satisfied in making them attend a couple of services and pay no attention to what’s going to happen to them next. You don’t have to baby sit them but you just have to maintain (or enhance) that relationship you have with them.

Nope, I Don’t Think The World is Ending

Just a couple of quick thoughts on Stephen Waltz’s: The End of The World As We Know It (http://walt.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2010/05/13/the_end_of_the_world_as_we_know_it?obref=obinsite)

Are we really seeing the end of the “Atlantic Era”? Declining definitely but I think it is far from ending. Although we’ve seen in the first half of 2010 the economic surge of China but right now, it is reportedly cooling down. In addition, economy is only one of the major criteria when we talk about establishing a global power – there’s also the political and military aspect. And with China’s economy cooling down, who can say that they can sustain decades or even century of supreme economy?

I don’t agree with Stephen Waltz that we are reaching the end of the era of the transatlantic powers but I definitely agree that in the case of the US, there is a way out in the current pit hole that they’re in: apply a zero-based look at the current foreign policy strategy! Being a realist myself, this is hard to say but I’m afraid Waltz is correct that conventional schools of thoughts are no longer relevant.

And with that note, I say I do believe that all the factors affecting the decline of the transatlantic powers (from economic decline to political decline, from fighting terrorism to improving the quality of education) are all policy issues. And yes, I agree with Waltz that in a time like this, if the US would really like to come up with an effective strategy to address their current foreign policy, a zero-based look at it should be applied.

How My Day Was: Sunday

I love this Sunday! Normally, nothing happens on Sunday except for church but today was a different one.

I told myself that I will grab a bite before going to church. I told myself that I will go to Uptown Geneva at least 15 minutes before the service so that I can chat with some people there...

I woke up at 8.30H but couldn't make myself leave the bed so I just amazingly laid there for 30 minutes. Then I realized I'm supposed to read my bible! So I read my reading plan for the day. I finally got up and prepared for church. As expected, I finished preparing at 10.20H so I found my self running again towards Uptown Geneva. Service was at 10.30H (Argh! I hate my self for being extra slow on Sundays!)

I love our topic at ICF. Our series is "at the movies". Today, the topic was the Bruce Almighty movie.

After the service, I went to the Gare to grab a grande Java Chip with an extra shot of espresso at the starbucks - it's becoming a Sunday routine for me. From the gare, I walked going to my apartment.

When I got to my apartment at 12.30H, I saw a message from Carol asking me if I want to walk by the lake this afternoon. We decided to meet at 15.30H at the Denner.

While waiting for 15.30H, I heated a slice of pizza, called my family, checked my facebook and started reading Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian. I realized that I haven't read the book before it so I started reading "Eat Pray Love" instead.

At 15.30H, I was with Carol and Chito. We didn't catch the bus because of me so we walked up to the gare instead. (I wasn't late! I promise! the bus was early!)

We started on the other side of the lake. We played a couple of games, checked the Jet d'Eau, bought churros (Carol and Chito decided to go for ice cream instead), checked out the rides (we just checked them, we didn't ride anything except for the horror booth).

We went to the other side of the lake to check what's in there. Basically the same. I tried the mojitos... it wasn't that good - too many ice and too many lime.

Carol was going to mass so we decided to go home and meet at Servet for dinner after an hour.

We had dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant. I had my favorite lasagna. I got back to my apartment at around 21.00H

Thank you Lord for a wonderful Sunday!

Heart-Breaking Stories

Last Friday, while wrapping up my work, I looked at our tv to see what's on CNN. The TV is normally in a low volume so I didn't really hear what it was all about. All I saw were these cute doggies in cages - shitzu, dalmatian, siberian husky, some medium sized fluffy dog, etc. So I dropped the papers I was holding and reached for the remote control. I turned on the volume and a japanese was explaining: "My job is supposed to save their lives. But what can I do? this is the law". Then the reporter said: "in a week, if these dogs are not claimed, they will be euthanized..."

Did I hear the person being interviewed and the reporter right? Are they seriously going to kill these dogs?

I didn't want to know but being a dog lover, I wanted to know if the dogs are ok. I continued watching.

Then the reporter said that it has been a week since they filmed the previous scenes and until now, no one has claimed any of the dogs. They showed how a guy guided the dogs to this chamber - some fought for their lives, some where just plainly obedient and some where even excited (perhaps thinking they were going for a walk). Then they were "gassed". A couple of minutes later, the reporter said they all died and new batch of dogs just came in the pound.

The anchor man explain that it was a really diffucult report to show but they had to. They said Japan and the US are one of the countries where there are high rates of dog euthanasia. Most countries in Europe like Italy, France, Switzerland, etc. have ZERO cases of dog euthanasia - dog euthanasia is illegal in most countries in Europe.

Also last week, they also reported that Chinese government has officially banned the selling of dog and cat meats.

Last Thursday, while doing my laundry, this old man came in with a seriously huge german shepherd without a leash! The old man was walking very slowly with his back bent low. The german shepherd was just looking at the old man and patiently walking the same pace as him. The old man put on his clothes to the washing machine and dropped some coins. When the machine was running, he whispered to his dog. The dog laid down in front of the machine and the old man went out of the laundry shop. There were three of us (excluding german sheppy) inside the laundry shop and we were all looking at the german sheppy. At some point, we realized that we were all looking at the german sheppy so we looked at one another in amazement and smiled. After 20-30 minutes, the old man came back with 2 small bottles of water - he gave the other one to german sheppy. Once the old man was done with the laundy, he packed up and blurted some in french to german sheppy. The dog stoop up and walked with the old man. We all noticed that that the old man mind is having a hard time carrying his laundry bag this time bec he didn't tumble dry his clothes therefore they were heavier. I don't know if it was just me for german sheppy was uneasy - walking while literally looking at the old man. So the guy behind me offered help. The old man accepted.

There a lot of touching stories out there how dogs really helped people in a lot of ways so seeing that CNN special report just broke my heart.

When in Doubt, Go Back to Basics!

I had an early appointment with my bank this morning at the WHO building so I decided to have my cappuccino and pain au chocolat (my breakfast combo nowadays) at their café. While having my breakfast, I had a strange conversation with a Filipino. Apparently, we’ve already met once that’s why she recognized me. Aside from that, my landlady baby sits her daughter during the day.

So we talked about how many Filipinos are there in different UN agencies, roll call of the names of the Filipinos working in WHO and for me say if I know them or not, how difficult it is to get an apartment in Geneva, etc. Then all of a sudden, our conversation went to this:

Joan : Sabi nga pala ni Eli (my landlady) Christian ka daw. Nakahanap ka na ba ng church? May dati kasing taga WHO na kaibigan ko na mormons. Pwede kitang i-endorse dun
Icar : meron na po. thanks for the offer.
Joan : Hindi ka ba laki sa Pilipinas?
Icar : Laki po.
Joan : Ah, bakit ka Christian? Uso na ba satin yun ngayon?
Icar : ummm… (yes, there was a pause) alam ko na ate Joan, lunch tayo tapos kwentuhan kita dyan.
Joan : Ay sige, sige! Lunch tayo para ma-meet mo din yung mga ibang Filipinos dito nag mamadali din kasi ako.

When I got home, Joan was in our apartment picking up her daughter. She reminded me about our lunch.

I’ve always been prepared in answering questions about my faith, about Jesus, about being a Christian, etc. But being asked if being a Christian is now a trend in our country in the context of me being a Christian is something that I must say: I did not see that one coming! So in 3-5 seconds, I thought of these (that was long the pause was):

1. I can’t explain this in 1 sentence because she was obviously in a hurry
2. How do I answer her without sounding like I’m preaching to her or without her thinking that I’m being self righteous?
3. She obviously doesn’t know about the term “Christian” so giving her a quick answer is prone to misconception
4. I don’t know anything about her therefore I might say something that might offend her.

I was like: “Lord, what do I say?!” Then I went back to the basics of one to one and small groups: build relationships first! Thus, instead of answering her question, I asked her to have lunch with me.

Fighting The Wrong Fight

Bad trip talaga ‘tong taong ‘to! Pasalamat sya at Christian ako kung hindi papatulan ko talaga yan! ARGHHHH!

That would be me in a real life situation. You see, my temper has always been my struggle probably since birth. When I became a Christian that was the first thing I had to deal with. I have to admit, it’s not easy and I’m still struggling. For the past three years, I managed to control my temper by not being confrontational. I learned to let go of things that will only “fuel the fire”. Again, it’s not easy that there are still times that I just lose it.

“Love your enemies” is probably one of the most popular teachings in the bible and acknowledged as fairly difficult by all. As Christians, I think it is safe to say that it is easy for us to pray for our enemies. However, once they are right in our face, hitting on our nerves, what do we do?

This often brings me to the question: how do I love my enemy then? Is just walking away enough? Because when I walk away and even pray for that person, the next time I see that person I’m pretty sure I still I haven’t forgotten the reason why I was pissed with him/her.

So how to I love my enemies? Technically, I know the answer: avoid confrontation, do good to them and pray for them. Here’s the thing, I can avoid confrontation, do good things to them and pray for them yet continue to hate them. So does that meet the criteria of loving your enemy?

Yesterday, I was surprised that it was a 27-year old Pastor who answered that question. In his t-shirt, shorts and slippers, Pastor Seth (I think that’s his name) passionately preached about persecution. One of the points was “loving your enemies”. He pointed out that once you see a person as an enemy, no matter how much respect you give that person, there will always be a part of you that will think that he/she was/is your enemy.

Pastor Seth said to look beyond the person. Because whatever that person did to you, it was not him/her who actually did it. That person is just being used by Satan against you – so that your heart will be tainted with hatred. Human beings are not capable of inflicting pain, hurt, anger, hatred, etc. on you. It is their actions, decisions, words, etc. that do those. Those are Satan’s and he knows that the easiest way to get to you is through another person by influencing their actions, decisions, words, etc. And when you start hating that person, you become vulnerable to Satan as well. He then can now use you so that the other person can feel more hatred towards you making this an ultimate man vs. man fight. Well, the truth is this isn’t a human vs. human fight. This should be a fight against evil. We should be instruments of God in fighting evil, not instruments of Satan in spreading evil.

Ephesians 6:12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against might powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits.

I know some people might read this and would go: “whatever!” or would think I’m losing it. But I’m posting this anyway because the more we think the word “evil” only exists in movies or books…that “evil” is fiction…the more we will turn on against one another. Then the more the “love your enemy” commandment in the bible becomes unattainable.

No Checking of Facebook in the Office for Now

Peter: Good Morning Icar!
Icar: (sobbing) Oh hi Peter.
Peter: hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?
Icar: nothing, don’t mind me please. This is embarrassing.
Peter: Are you sure you’re ok? Are you sick?
Icar: no, these are happy tears. Something great happened yesterday for my friends in Manila and I’m just so happy and proud of them.
Peter: so, you’re homesick? That’s ok. No need to be embarrassed. That’s normal
Icar: I’m not normal. Sorry, I mean I don’t get homesick. I miss people but I don’t get homesick. Really…promise, these are happy tears
Peter: ok, ok. If you need anything, I’m just in my office.
Icar: thanks *slightly laughing*

After a couple of minutes, 3 more people (who already greeted me a good morning) passed by to say “good morning” to me and of course checked if I’m doing okay. Grrrr! Hold on people! For your information, in my six years with IOM, I only cried twice (excluding this episode) and those were because I was too angry for so long that I couldn’t contain it. Anyway, what’s with my morning drama? I love my family, my friends and my doggies back home and I miss you all so much but yes, I am enjoying here and excited as I may have found the reason why I am here (that’s another story). I cried because of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_cIn1DSgaQ

When I learned that Val and the KIDS worship team are playing at the music museum, I got so excited! In fact, it was only the 1,383.76 US Dollars ticket that kept me from flying to Manila just to see this.

The other Sunday I thought about my teammates the whole day! Of course it didn’t help that earlier that week Val mentioned that they might have a shortage of volunteers that Sunday. I was somehow appeased after a great message from Pastor Matthias and when later on was told by Val that it went well. I’m so proud of my team.

Last Friday Val, told me that he’s on leave because he needed to rest and because they have a practice for this Sunday’s praise and worship. I was ecstatic! I completely forgot that this coming Sunday was KIDS “MM launch”. From then on, I couldn’t help but think how Val and the rest of the KIDS Worship Team are doing. Are they ready? Do they have a Saturday practice?

Sunday came and believe it or not, the KIDS Worship team was the first thing in my mind. It also didn’t help that Pastor Mattias was preaching through video because he was visiting a church in Kiev. I was distracted the whole time. Then Val sent me a message saying that all went well. After attending church, I spent the rest of the day waiting for updates at Facebook. I was extremely happy when I saw the posts from friends on how God’s presence was really felt through the KIDS Worship team. Just by reading the posts and looking at the photos, I had goosebumps already so what more for the people who were there.

This morning, the first thing I did was to check if someone has already posted a video. True enough, Val did! And when the video started playing, for some freaking reason, I started crying! Trust me, I didn’t want to. The weird thing is, I couldn’t stop! I was already telling myself that this is totally embarrassing and if someone sees me, it will be the end of my reputation! Haha! So that’s when Peter saw me.

I’m too emotional when it comes to KC I guess it’s because I’ve seen it grow. I’ve seen the hard work and dedication of every person in this ministry, especially Pastor Larry, and I’ve witness how God has blessed this family. I can also say that a significant part of where I am right now with my walk with God is because of this ministry. This is where I learned what “whatever it takes” means.

Congratulations again to Pastor Larry, Kuya Jun and the rest of the KIDS Worship Team. I am so proud of you and I can’t wait for your international debut! To my teammates, I miss you all!

So right now, just to avoid embarrassing tears, I won't be checking my facebook while in the office at all! (except when post this) I will look on people's posts, pictures and videos of yesterdays praise and worship when I in my room in my apartment. :)

Stop and Smell the Roses!

This morning, I could hardly get up! I was so sleepy, just like yesterday. I actually had 2 cups of coffee yesterday morning because my eyelids were literally dropping. Carlos from the caffeteria (nice man by the way) even asked me if John, my boss, is back because I got 2 cups (yes, he asked it in French... Il ne parler pas francais). I said no, I'm just sleepy (in English of course). It couldn't be jetlag. I've been here for almost two weeks and I know I didn't experience it.

Anyway, the first thing I saw this morning on Facebook is KZ's prayer. It struck me that I've been sleepy for days because I've been non-stop since I got here! I would come in the office before 8 AM, leave the office at 6-630 PM, go to the mall, walk around or just read a book until 11-12 MN. I guess I'm just not used to having the sun at 930 PM but mainly because for me, having the sun means I still have time to do things. I, for one thing, haven't stopped shopping and looking for autumn and winter clothes since I got here not because I don't have anything interesting to do but because I feel like I don't have enough! My mind is constantly running, worrying about my apartment. As I often say to my colleagues whenever they ask how am I settling in: “I’m not sure, I feel like my life in Geneva hasn’t started yet because I haven’t found an apartment yet”.

So when I read KZ's prayer this morning, I was reminded that yeah, things work pretty fast when you are in your mid-late 20s because you are constantly chasing after the expectations you have listed down for yourself. In my case, I know why I've been running around lately: I've been insisting on meeting the deadlines I set for myself like get an apartment that is less than CHF1,000 in at least 3 weeks upon my arrival, have my autumn and winter wardrobe ready by the end of summer, etc. Don't get me wrong, planning is necessary but stressing out is not! In the end, who brought me in Geneva? God’s plan, His time! So if things are not working the way I planned it to be, then I need to stop, and as they said, and smell the roses. Proverbs 19:21:

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

Anyway, here’s Kz’s beautiful prayer this morning and I hope this inspires you as well no matter what your age is and whatever is making you feel like you are constantly running to meet the expectations you have set for yourself. (Thanks Kz!)

Dear Lord, when I get ahead of You and try to fix myself, slow me down. Help me wait on You with great expectancy, as I look for the harvest in many areas of my life. I'm 25 soon, Lord. I know life goes by quickly, so please slow me down and help me enjoy, more than what this life offers, You especially :)me enjoy, more than what this life offers, You especially :)

Size Doesn't Matter

Matthew 6:33-34 is such a powerful verse. It is one of the bible verses that put me where I am today. When things get tough, I just hang on to this verse. It’s not as easy as it sounds though. I mean, for a control freak like me, this is a tough one. I used to worry a lot (actually even until now I still worry on things) so I end up stressing out my self and controlling everyone. But that’s not what this is all about. My testimony is that how big verse such as this applies to our smallest problem.

I’m not into jewelry. I have one set of jewelry that I have been using since I was in my first year in highschool – a pair of earrings, a ring and a necklace. For fourteen years I’ve been wearing them almost everyday.

The other day, I left the office at exactly 4:30 PM because I told my mom that I’m bringing dinner. I made a take out at Reyes Barbeque near our office (which took me around 30 minutes), ran to the shuttle terminal, got in a shuttle immediately, slept the whole trip and by 7:30 PM I was home. We had dinner immediately, watched American Idol while having dinner, cleaned the dinner table and then watched Glee. After watching Glee, I took a shower and went to my mom’s room (where Doodle is also staying) to say goodnight. While talking to Doodle (yes, we talk to our puppy), I suddenly realized that my earring on my left ear was missing! I checked my other ear hoping that it’s not there so that it will be more likely that I took them off but it was there. So clearly, the other pair of my earrings was missing!

I looked around the house but I somehow knew that its not here. I was pissed already but at the same time I didn’t want to show my mom and sister that I was so frustrated. Finally, I gave up the idea that I’d still be able to find it. So I went to my room and read my bible. I was thinking of praying about it but I thought “oh don’t be silly! It’s just a little thing to pray for… pray for something that makes more sense”. Before I went to sleep, Val called to check out on me and I told him I’m sad about my lost earring. He told me not to worry because God knows how important it is to me so just pray. Before I slept, I whispered “God please if it is not too much for you, can I have my earring back”.

When I woke up the following day, I was still feeling down. I just told my mom that it’s fine, I’ll just ask Holli to make a copy and I was like “gosh! How much will this cost me?”. It wasn’t a happy morning for me so I thought I’ll just drown myself in caffeine and I’ll be giddy and all. When I got to my messy table, lo and behold! My earring was there and I couldn’t believe it! Our janitress told me she saw it under my chair and she placed it on my table. She also told me “buti nalang ma’am hindi araw ng pag va-vaccum ngayon kung hindi nawala na siguro yan”.

Basically, I learned here that I trust God in my huge problems but I often forget Him or think that I’m just bothering Him when it comes to petty problems. This shows that there are no small or big problems when it comes to God. There’s no size requirement for problems before we can lift it up to him. And that’s how much he loves us! He sent his son to die for us to be saved… shame on me for even thinking that he will not care for the little things that I care like my earring.